In June of 2018, I dove headfirst into the world of social nudity. While I knew from the start that I absolutely loved the feeling of being naked outside, it took me most of that first summer to warm up to the idea of socializing. Last summer, I really started to embrace it. I got to know people and have friendly chats with them each time I visited the nudist camp that I’m a member of. I made a huge leap in progress when I rented a cabin and stayed overnight. I enjoyed a crowded pot luck dinner followed by drinks and bonding around a bonfire. After spending two full days without wearing clothes with these people, I felt as happy and relaxed as I’ve ever been.
So, as I enter my third season, my love of being a nudist is stronger than ever. Whenever I am home alone, I am nude, especially in these times of social distancing. I have spent many work days completely naked. I am a card carrying member of the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) and a third year member at my nudist camp. I regularly listen to The Naturist Living Show podcast (highly recommended) and am an avid reader of AANR’s monthly newsletter. Most importantly, I understand and truly believe in the physical, mental and spiritual benefits of social nudity. My body confidence around others has increased tremendously. I’m no longer worried that my fellow nudists are going to judge me based on my body type, age or the size of my penis.
I also fully understand that social nudism is a non-sexual practice. I’ll fully admit that when I began to consider visiting a nude beach or camp, a big part of it was my desire to see others naked. I quickly learned that there is not a sexually charged atmosphere in true social nudist situations. There has never been a time where I’ve felt even the slightest bit sexually aroused when socializing nude. Of course it’s natural to check out people you find attractive but I don’t do so anymore than I would in a textile situation. I get naked for myself, not to gawk at others.
While I have yet to divulge my love for nudism to friends or family, I am getting to the point where I am less worried about being found out. I’ve got nude selfies from camp on my computer, I’ve left my AANR card out, and I subscribe to The Naturist Living show so anyone who looks at my podcast library can see it. I’m not necessarily trying to get caught but I also realize it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’m divorced so I don’t have a wife to keep it from although, ironically my ex is the one person I’ve seriously considered telling. We are on good terms and prior to having kids, we enjoyed hanging out naked around the house and backyard. I also really believe she would enjoy social nudity if she gave it a try. Maybe someday I’ll propose the idea…That brings me to my kids. I have a great relationship with them but they are both in their upper teens and I don’t believe they are mature enough to understand that being naked with others can be non-sexual and feel normal. I’ve jokingly mentioned being nude and my daughter’s immediate reaction is “Ewww, that’s gross!” At some point when we’re all older and more mature, I will probably discuss it with them. Until then, my nude alone time around the house and my trips to the nudist camp remain my little secret escapes.
I realized this morning that I haven’t added a new entry since last October. The main reason being that there isn’t a lot going on in the world of social nudity during the cold New England winter months. However, with spring finally arriving (and warm weather with it), the long anticipated return to outdoor social nudity is imminent. I’m not sure how social it will be at the start but I have been assured that my nudist camp is open to members. Of course social distancing precautions will be enforced there which is a bit of a bummer because I really got into the social aspects of nudism last year. Two years ago was my first year and I pretty much kept to myself because I’m shy in general and I was especially shy until I warmed up to being nude around others. That is among one of many ways that I’ve grown as a nudist.
The change that’s been at the forefront of my mind during this period of quarantine is the amount of time I now spend nude at home. Prior to trying social nudity for the first time two years ago (at the ripe old age of 47), I enjoyed briefly being nude around the house. Other than that, I was dressed more often than not and even wore underwear to bed. As I became more comfortable being nude for long periods of time at camp, my at home nude time began to gradually increase. To begin with I started sleeping naked and now I can’t imagine confining myself like that. However, I would still pull on a robe or pajama pants and a t-shirt as soon as I got up, even on work days when I’d just be in the kitchen for a brief period of time before stripping again to shower for work. I don’t remember specific making the decision to stop doing this but at some point I realized what I was doing didn’t make any sense. Why waste time covering myself for those few minutes? So I started rolling right of bed and heading to the kitchen in the buff to put on coffee and feed my cat. Definitely seemed much more efficient use of time.
On weekends, this habit continued but, because I didn’t have to hop into the shower right away, I would remain nude for a good part of weekend morning puttering. After pouring myself a cup of coffee and grabbing a little breakfast, I’d head to my reading spot by the window that gets the morning sun and relax. However, once I got up to start doing other things around the house like clean or pay bills, I would get dressed first. During one rather intense cleaning session, I got hot so I took my shirt off and then thought, “Why am I wearing anything at all?” I stripped down to nothing but a pair of slippers and finished my household chores. This was the start of where I am today: I only get dressed at home if circumstances require. These circumstances are mainly: If I have to go out of the house, if I’m having guests, or if it’s too cold (much as I’d like to, I can’t afford to crank the heat just to stay naked). Even when it is cold, I’ve found just putting a sweatshirt on is sometimes enough so I can be comfortable but remain naked from the waste down. Since I started doing this, there have been multiple occasions where none of these reasons to dress came up and I remained naked for over 24 hours straight.
I can say with confidence that I have fully embraced being a nudist. That’s not to say I’ve grown all I can as a nudist. My longest period of non-stop social nudism was an overnight at camp last summer where I was nude for over 30 hours. My goal this summer is to spend at least two nights at camp without getting dressed. I also want to make an effort to get to know even more people and be more social. I think the ultimate step in embracing my nudism is to share my love of it with friends and family. I can’t imagine when or if I will take it that step but I hope to be in a position to do so someday. For now, however, I remain a full fledged closet nudist.
Last year, my first as a full fledged nudist, I learned that the cold weather months are a big bummer for nudists. As a New Englander, I’ve always had to deal with the cold but now that I’ve experienced how wonderful it feels to be naked outside, I get really sad when those days become fewer and farther between starting in September. By the end of October, the chances of getting a comfortable day to be nude outside are extremely low. My last nude day of the season last year was mid-October. As I write this at the same time this year, I’m holding out hope that I can still get in one or two days. Other than that, most of my nude time will be around the house. Since discovering nudism, I have gradually increased the amount of time I spend nude at home. At this point, I pretty much only get dressed if people are over or I have to go out of the house. When I get home, I used to take off my shoes to get comfortable. Now, I start with my shoes and then everything else comes off. Nothing feels better after a long day at work than stripping all the layers away.
Of course during the cold weather months that becomes a problem because unless the thermostat is cranked to 11 it can still get a bit chilly. Since I can’t afford a sky high heating bill I have to find other solutions. I got through last fall and winter by wearing an open flannel robe. Definitely not the same as being completely nude but had to stay warm somehow! This year, I’ve discovered a better solution. As I was undressing after work recently, I stopped to do something after I had taken everything off but my t-shirt. I ended up staying this way for the rest of the evening: nude from the waist down. It felt so much better than having a robe that covers me completely unless I open it up (and even then my butt is still covered). I found that if my shoulders and torso are warm the rest of me is comfortable. I also did put a blanket over me when I was reading and watching TV.
An added benefit to this is that I’m not as worried about neighbors catching a glimpse of me through my windows. This is especially concerning at night when it’s difficult to see out but extremely easy to see in. When I walk around fully nude it would be pretty obvious to someone who happens to glance in as they pass by. However, with a t-shirt on, someone glancing in probably wouldn’t register that my bottom half is nude unless they really stopped and stared. So, somewhat by accident, this is my new cold weather indoor attire!
If you’ve read my previous blogs, you know I’ve been a social nudist since June of 2018. Throughout that summer, I slowly became more accustomed to socializing with my fellow nudists. However, for the most part, I would keep to myself most of the day. This summer I began to engage in more conversations and meet more camp members. My goal for this summer was to do an overnight at the camp and spend 24 hours straight completely nude. This past weekend, I accomplished that goal!
I arrived at the campground midday Saturday and was naked as soon as I parked next to my rental cabin. After unloading my car and settling in to my living space (very nice accomodations by the way), I went on my usual trail hike around camp. On my way to the trails, I ran into a member who I’ve talked to briefly before. He accompanied me on the entire hike and we had a very pleasant conversation. After hiking, I cooled down in the pond and then settled in for an afternoon of reading. Around 4:30, I returned to my cabin and sat on the deck sipping a cocktail. The weekly Saturday night pot luck dinner was taking place at 6:30 so around 6:00 I began preparing my contribution on the gas grill included on my deck. I’ve never grilled nude before.
In fact I did a lot of things nude that I’d never done before, including sitting down to dine with a bunch of naked strangers. Sounds intimidating but it was far from it. I met some great people and had a great time talking and eating with them. Likewise, after dinner when a smaller group of us (around 20) sat around a bonfire having drinks and sharing great conversation. It felt so natural and not at all awkward.
On Sunday, I woke up around 9 to a sunny, warm morning. It was so nice to roll out of bed, make coffee then sit on the deck and read for a bit without having to put on clothes. After enjoying a nice outdoor shower (another first), I had to pack my stuff and clear out of the cabin because it was rented for that day. I had to move my car to the common parking area so I hopped in completely naked and drove (yet another first). The rest of the day was pretty much a repeat of my usual daily routine: Hike, swim, read, relax. As the sun began to set, I loaded my backpack and cooler into the car and started to get in to drive home when I realized I was still naked! At that point, I was so used to being naked I almost totally forgot to get dressed. I sadly pulled on my shorts and shirt and headed home. All told, it was about 30 straight hours of nudity. Just like my first visit to the camp over a year ago, I can’t wait for my next nude overnight!
In my previous blog, Becoming Bisexual, I referenced my first gay experience as an adult. However, the main focus of that blog was that I’ve always been bisexual, it just took me a while to admit it, despite the fact that my earliest sexual experiences were gay and immensely enjoyable. You can read that previous blog for details about them. I promised to tell the full story of my first adult gay experience and I shall do so here.
Throughout high school, college and into my 20s, I never had sex with men but still occasionally fantasized about it. When I learned about jerk off clubs, I became obsessed with the idea of being in a roomful of nude, jerking off guys. I’d always fantasized about that but didn’t realize it was actually real. I also recalled enjoying the blow job sessions my friend and I shared and wondered if I would still really be into that as an adult. I decided the only way to know for sure was to try it so I began researching ways to hook up with guys for NSA oral.
At this point I was in my mid-30s and my marriage was sexless and falling apart. I’d all ready visited an Asian massage parlor several times. The first time I went, I didn’t realize that for the right price you could get more than just a happy ending. The second time I went, I paid full price and fucked a cute Asian woman. I returned several times before being spooked at the idea of getting caught in a sting.
Right around the same time, my ongoing research lead to the discovery of a gay bathhouse not too far from where I live. After contemplating and fantasizing about it for a few weeks, I finally decided to go for it. I told my (then) wife that I was going out to watch a ball game with my friends and headed there.
The bathhouse is located in a busy urban neighborhood so I parked on the street a couple blocks down, in front of a bar. Fortunately it was a cold fall evening so I was able to obscure my face with my hood. I walked to the building the bathhouse was in and ducked in the door as quickly as possible. It is located on the second floor so I took the stairs which led to a bank teller type window next to a located door. The man at the window asked for my identification (required to verify age) then collected my admission fee. I was handed a towel then directed to the locker room where I immediately went and got naked. I noticed men walking around had their towels around their waists so I did the same.
I made my way to the common area which is set up like a living room: Sofa, chairs, and a big screen TV showing gay porn. I sat down on the couch and opened my towel. Some guys were jerking off others were just watching. Seeing this got me hard so I started lightly stroking my cock. It wasn’t long before I was approached. The guy looked at me, looked at my cock then looked me in the eyes again, silently asking for approval. I nodded yes and he immediately got between my legs and started blowing me. Shortly after this, we were joined by another man who stood close to us and watched. His hard dick was right next to my face so I leaned over and started sucking him. At this point I had pretty much confirmed that I hadn’t outgrown my love of cock! It didn’t take long for the guy I was blowing to cum so I assumed I was also still good at it. After cumming, he thanked me with a smile and walked away.
He was soon replaced by an older guy (I’ll call him “Bill” for the sake of reference) who had been watching the three of us. Bill cut in so to speak and replaced the first guy between my legs. He was tall, handsome and in good shape. He must have really liked me because he invited my back to the private room he had rented. For those who don’t know, many gay bathhouses have small private spaces with beds. They’re kind of like cubicles so others can hear what’s going on. The first thing he wanted to do when had privacy was kiss. I didn’t know what to do so I went with it. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs, I’m not into anything romantic with guys, including making out. I think he could tell so he didn’t really try again after that first kiss.
We took turns blowing each other and then he asked if he could fuck me. I enjoy being fingered and rimmed and regularly use a small butt plug so I figured I’d let him take my anal virginity. He rolled onto condom onto his erection, put some lube on my asshole and began to slide the head in. Unfortunately, I was too tense and he did have a pretty large dick so he couldn’t comfortably get it in. He knew it wasn’t going to work so he very understandingly gave up. While that attempt was a failure, I would like to try getting fucked again under more relaxed circumstances.
We went back to blowing each other and I didn’t last much longer. Laying on my back, I warned Bill I was cumming. At the very last second he took my dick out of his mouth and stroked it until I came all over his hand and my belly. We quickly used towels to clean up and then I finished him off. I was sitting on the edge of the bed with him standing in front of me when he came. He shot a big load all over my hairy chest (since becoming a nudist, I’ve shaved my chest and pubic hair). I loved the feeling of his warm cum on me.
We laid on the bed for a while and talked. Bill knew it was my first visit to a bathhouse and he gave me some great advice, the most important of which I’ll pass on: BE CAREFUL! Evidently there are a lot of guys with STDs that just don’t care. Bill was very kind and I sort of regret not exchanging information. He would have made a nice no strings attached sex partner. However, still being married at the time I was way too paranoid about getting caught. Under the same circumstances now that I’m single, I’d probably ask for his number.
We said our goodbyes and I left Bill in his room. I could have stayed longer and tried for a second round but I’ve always been a one and done kind of guy. I walked back to the showers and washed the cum of my chest then got dressed and headed out.
The next day, I had a family outing with my wife and kids. Being around them knowing what I’d done just a few hours before made me feel terribly guilty. I also had a sore throat which I immediately thought was caused by a disease I’d contracted from sucking multiple cocks the night before. It turned out to be a coincidence but that intense guilt I was feeling tricked me into thinking otherwise.
I thought the guilt was about having gay sex but since getting divorced, I realized it was mainly because I was cheating on my wife, even though I resented her for not having sex with me. I know this because there has been no guilt about any gay experiences I’ve had since being single. Still, despite having sucked multiple cocks and attempting anal, I considered myself bicurious for years. Only after sharing my story and reading other’s similar stories on a bisexual message board was I finally able to admit to myself that I could drop the curious. Even though I didn’t realize it for almost 40 years, I have always been and will always be a bisexual man.
I was conflicted about starting a blog site about nudism and bisexuality. As any true nudist knows, social nudism and sex are mutually exclusive. On the other hand, bisexuality, especially in my case, very much focuses on sex. My concern is that a blog site mixing the two may blur that line. Still, I need a forum in which to discuss both lifestyles because both are a secret from my family and friends. The only people who know I’m a nudist are those that I’ve met at nudist events and the only people who know I’m bisexual are the men I’ve given and received oral sex from.
That having been said, there can be some fuzziness between the two, at least in my life. My interest in nudism definitely included a sexual aspect. I’ve always been turned on by fully nude people of both genders and all shapes and sizes so I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to go to a place where I could just gawk and naked people all day?!?” On my first visit to an actual nudist camp (just over a year ago) I came to the realization that nudism is not about that at all. I quickly learned it simply feels wonderful to be nude in nature with other like-minded, non-judgmental folks. Not once has talking to another nudist caused me to feel like I would get an erection. Nor have I seen any guys walking around with hard ons. When I hear that is a concern of guys considering nudism, I now find it funny.
Nevertheless, I’d be lying if I said it’s not wonderful as a bisexual man to be able to see all those beautiful nude bodies. The reality of nudist hangouts is that they’re not full of supermodels as depicted in pop culture. Instead, it’s just regular folks many of them like me: Middle aged or older, overweight. They have breasts and penises of all shapes and sizes, all of them unique and lovely in their own natural way. This is the aspect of nudism that has increased my own body confidence. Much as I enjoy looking, it is not sexual. I equate it to the way one would look at and appreciate a nude piece of art. Sensual but pure.
As I enter my second year as a nudist, one of my goals this summer is to spend a full 24 hours completely naked. This means at no time will I put on a shirt, a robe or any other clothing with the exception of socks and trail shoes should I go hiking. I easily could pull this off at home but I prefer that it truly be a nudist experience in that I’ll be socializing with other people during this time.
I have been spending more and more time nude at home this past year. Now that the weather has warmed up in my region, I’m spending even more time nude around the house. I love going to bed naked then waking up in the morning, going about my morning routine, showering and dressing only if I have to go work or the store.
Without intending to, I did almost have a 24 hour plus stretch nude at home yesterday. I went to bed around midnight, nude of course. Woke up and went about my morning routine: Feed the cat, make coffee which I then sip while checking email and reading a novel. Didn’t have to work so no need to shower and get dressed. I just kept going about my day doing chores around the house. The only thing that broke the streak was a need to go to the grocery store. Had this streaking streak been planned, I would have made sure I had the necessities so I wouldn’t have to go out.
When I returned after about an hour and a half, the first thing I did when I walked in the door was drop the bags and pull off my clothes. I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening nude. I haven’t been spending evening naked because it would get too cold after dark. Also, it’s easier to see in from the street at night. Because of this, I do have close my front window blinds if I’m going to stay naked for the evening. So, this was my first time making dinner, eating and watching TV nude.
I went to bed still naked and again remained that way until around 1:30 this afternoon when a family obligation required me to get dressed and go out. All told, I’d spent about 36 hours (minus the shopping trip) in the buff. Every day since I first tried nudism last year, I marvel at what a great lifestyle choice this is. I feel perfectly relaxed and confident being nude. This at home sort of streak is just a taste of what’s in store for me this summer.
I never stopped being attracted to women. Bisexuality is misunderstood; the adage is that you’re either straight or gay or lying, but that’s not my experience. To call me anything other than bisexual would be inaccurate.
I hesistantly titled this blog “Becoming Bi” because, as will become evident by my story, I’ve always been bisexual. It just took until my late 30s to admit it. By “admit it” I mean to myself. I’m still in the closet as far as friends and family are concerned. My Catholic family members would disown me and many of my friends would too. Prior to reaching the point of admitting it to myself, I considered myself “bi-curious”. This is despite having multiple gay experiences in my youth, fantasizing about sex with men as an adult and finally returning to sucking dick in my 30s. Still, I considered myself only bi-curious. To admit otherwise, I thought, would be to admit that I was gay. So I rationalized that bi-curious allowed me to blow guys and jerk off to gay porn but still consider myself straight. It also took me a long time to understand that one could be bisexual but not interested in the romantic aspects of a relationship with a man. I have no interest in dating, kissing, hugging, or cuddling with guys. I like to get naked, get off, and get on my way! This is the path I took to get where I am today.
My interest in nudity and sexuality began around age 8 or 9. I remember seeing the cover of a romance novel my mother was reading. A man was embracing a naked woman, the point of view showing her bare backside. I remember staring at the curves of her smooth, round bottom and feeling…Something stirring.
That image continued to resonant with me and ended up being the spark to what could be considered my first sexual experience. It was too long ago to remember the timeline from when I saw that to when this occurred nor any particular details. I just remember playing in the finished attic of the home I grew up in with my best friend who lived down the street from me. I think I may have shown him the book cover and suggested we look at each other naked. Our mom’s were busy two floors down in the kitchen drinking coffee, smoking and yakking so we figured it would be safe to take off our clothes. We got completely naked and decided to recreate the cover. We embraced and caressed each other’s naked skin. I remember really liking the soft, smooth feeling as I ran my palms over the curves of his buttocks. I also liked the way his hands felt on my body. I don’t recall if I got hard but clearly this was a keystone moment.
We got naked together and touched each other the same way on several occasions until eventually one of us wondered what it would feel like to lick and suck each other’s penises (which did this weird thing and got all hard when we were touching each other). I don’t remember any specifics of the first time we did this but obviously it was a success. Having someone suck your hard dick felt good and licking and sucking a cock wasn’t so bad either because it was just done or is about to be done to you.
These mutual blow jobs became a regular part of our friendship. My friend’s parents both worked (unusual for the early 80s) so we’d often go to his house after school and suck each other off before they got home. They also frequently went out on weekend evenings but would allow me to sleep over. This gave us the freedom to roam around the house totally naked and blow each other multiple times. His parents never checked in on us once we were “asleep” so we’d sleep naked together and blow each other when we woke up in the morning.
The first time semen every came out of my dick was when he was blowing me. I had previously had dry orgasms not even knowing what the fuck they were. All I knew was that after stroking my cock or getting sucked this amazing feeling built up and then my dick went limp for a while. The first time cum dribbled out, I got scared because I thought something was wrong. There was no internet back then for us to learn about orgasm and cumming so my friend and I had to figure it out on our own. The discovery of my brother’s hardcore porn mags helped unravel that mystery.
As we got deeper into puberty and learned more about sex, we began to try new things like 69 and kissing. We quickly discovered that we weren’t into kissing. However, we were curious about intercourse and anal sex so we clumsily tried to simulate it: He laid on his stomach, I lubed his thighs right below his ass, got on top and thrust my dick between his thighs. It felt good, especially his bare ass against my stomach. I remember having a nice orgasm between his legs and then reversing positions and letting him do the same to me. We did eventually try sticking it into each other’s ass but it felt weird to the one being fucked so we didn’t explore it further.
This homosexual friendship began when we were both pre-pubescent and continued until middle school ended. His family moved out of state and we fell out of touch. I had a couple others friends that I’d exchange blow jobs with but nothing as regular as this relationship. It was a bummer to loose a friend who I’d gotten so comfortable sharing my body with.
The only load I’ve swallowed belonged to my friend who was promoted to best friend status after my original blow buddy left town. We were around 13 or 14 at a Christmas party where we were able to nick a bottle of peppermint schnapps. We got loaded (didn’t take much) and went back to his house where I was sleeping over. Being buzzed teenagers, we were horny so I slipped under the covers and started sucking his dick. I could tell he was nearing orgasm at which time I’d usually stop sucking and stroke until he came on my hand and his stomach. However, I’d been curious about swallowing and the alcohol gave me the necessary courage to keep sucking. I think I may have even sucked harder. I remember him thrusting forward as he came and I just sucked and swallowed it right down. I don’t remember anything about the taste but it wasn’t a bad experience and I could tell his orgasm was better because I continued to suck. When it was his turn to blow me, I was hoping he’d return the favor but no such luck. To this day, nobody’s ever swallowed my load.
As we started high school, girls came onto our radar and we began to focus our energies on them. The mutual blow jobs petered out and regular masturbation (by myself) became a daily occurance. I always jerked off to straight porn but I was definitley looking at the guy’s dicks. I also liked to jerk off to myself in the mirror. In my late teens/early 20s, I got my hands on an old school VHS camcorder. I started recording myself jerking off then going back and jerking off to the recording of myself. I still do this all these years later, substituting a webcam for the camcorder and X-Tube for my VCR (I like to share my sex pics and vids but that’s a topic for another blog entry).
Throughout high school and college I was on the shy side when it came to girls so I didn’t date (or have sex) that much. I lost my virginity in October of my freshman year to a drunk sophmore who was looking to get back at a guy who had just dumped her. It wasn’t that great but I was happy to no longer be a virgin. Sadly that was the only time I got laid in my four years of college. I slept with a few other girls but could never get them to go all the way. I felt and sucked some tits and fingered a couple but that was the extent of it. The next girl I had sex with would eventually become my wife (now ex-wife).
Like many couples, the sex was great and frequent when we dated and first got married. However, I do remember being frustrated that she would rarely blow me and only do so begrudgingly. Frustrating not only because I knew how great blow jobs but also because I would always eat her pussy during foreplay. After having our first child sex became less frequent, after our second even less frequent and then virtually non-existent as other factors caused us to grow further and further apart. Throughout all this, fantasies of attending jerk off parties or blowing guys began to creep in and become more frequent. I eventually started to jerk off to bi and gay porn. I also began posting pics and videos of myself jerking off. I got off (and still do) knowing other guys are turned on and jerking off to me.
As my marriage really fell to pieces, I started to wonder if, as a mid-30s adult, I’d still be into sucking cock. I researched JO clubs and gay bath houses, considered my options for a long time and finally set my sites on a nearby bath house. I settled on a summer evening when my wife thought I was going out with friends to watch some baseball at the bar. I found the place, parked nearby, had a drink to settle my nerves at bar a few doors down and then headed in.
Since this blog is all ready running long, I’ll save the details of that and my other adult experiences with men for another day. Suffice it to say, within 15 minutes of taking off my clothes at the bath house, I confirmed that I was still sexually into men: I was sitting on a couch blowing a guy standing in front of me, while another guy knelt between my legs and sucked me off. After that night, the extent of my experience with men as an adult has been limited to one more trip there and a mutual blow and go Craigslist hook up.
It’s been years since that last blow job but I still interact regularly with men online. Nonetheless, it’s so difficult to connect with someone I feel I can trust to be discreet, safe and sane. I’ve been corresponding regularly for over a year with a married bi-curious man who wants to hook up when he feels ready. I haven’t pushed him and I feel like when he’s ready it will happen. It’s so liberating to share here and finally admit to myself that I am, and always have been, bisexual.
I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.
June 2, 2018 was a day that changed my life. That was the day I took a huge leap of faith and decided to try social nudity by visiting a nudist camp. You can read all about my experience that day in my first blog post. As I drove to the camp that day, I had no idea what it would be like. When I almost lost my nerve and turned around, I took the mindset that if it was an awful experience I’d never have to do it again. Clearly that wasn’t the case!
Yesterday, June 15, was the first day that weather and life circumstances permitted me to celebrate my nude-a-versary at the camp. I’ve been twice this season but in May, prior to the official one year mark. It was a glorious day: Sunny and temps in the mid-70s, absolutely perfect for being nude outside! I have established a pretty regular routine on my day trips to camp. As soon as I’m parked, I’m out of the car and naked as quickly as possible.
Once I’m sans annoying clothes (except for trail shoes), I organize my backpack then find a shady spot near the main camp’s swimming pond to set up my lounge chair. I then walk over to the bathrooms and relieve myself (it’s an hour plus drive so usually I have to go). After that’s taken care of, I hit the hiking trails. I take a nice leisurely hike through the beautiful woods. My first stop is an offshoot dead end trail that has some nice Adirondack chairs to relax and take in the view. On this trip, that relaxation was ruined when a wasp (or some other flying stinging creature) started buzzing around the chair. I grabbed my backpack and towel and fled as quickly as possible. The last thing I’m looking to do is get stung, especially with so many sensitive areas exposed!
I continued to where the trail loops around a nature pond full of frogs and turtles. There is a rock high above this pond that is perfect for spreading out a blanket and sitting or laying under the sun. This became my secondary relaxation spot. In order to completely relax, I remove my trail shoes and socks (I wear these when I hike to support my old feet and protect from ticks). With that, I was now completely nude and able to enjoy a light snack and hydrate with water.
After about a half hour stop on the rock, I put my socks and shoes back on and forged ahead. I ended up taking a trail I never had before. Although it made the hike longer than what I usually do, I enjoyed discovering a place I hadn’t been before. I got a little worried at one point but I knew as long as I stuck to the trail I’d end up back at the main camp which I did soon after thinking that.
I had to use the bathroom again and while I was in there, decided to jump in the shower to cool off and rinse the sweat off my body. Usually I’d take a dip in the swimming pond to do this but this time of the year the water is still pretty cool. I really enjoyed the experience of being able to get out of the shower, towel off some of the water and then not get dressed and just walk back outside. I would remain completely naked (no socks or shoes!) for the rest of the day.
Back at my lounge chair, I got out my book and settled in for an afternoon of reading and relaxation. Occasionally I’d put down the book and close my eyes for a few minutes. During these moments of total peace, I’d find myself thinking what I’ve often thought since first visiting the camp: This is a slice of heaven on Earth! Surrounded by nature with other people in our most natural state of being. Absolutely glorious! I also got up from time to time to stretch my legs and take short walks. I normally stay on the shady side of the pond on hot summer days but yesterday was breezy and it felt a tad to cool for my liking so I did move to a sunny spot for the last couple house of the day. Because I normally stay in the shade, I didn’t apply sunscreen and ended up with my first all over sunburn. It was really mild because I wasn’t in the sun for that long. I actually enjoyed looking at my body the next day and seeing no tan lines.
As the sun began to set, I packed up my things and returned to my car. The worst part of the day is pulling those clothes back on to return to the textile world. I often pause and take one last deep breath while still nude. As I slowly pull out I’m all ready anticipating my next visit. Over the course of the drive home, I can feel how much more relaxed my body is. Curious as I was about nudism, I always doubted whether or not I’d actually get into the lifestyle. Now I can’t imagine life without it!
What spirit is so empty and blind, that it cannot recognize the fact that the foot is more noble than the shoe, and skin more beautiful than the garment with which it is clothed?
This is the story of my first experience with social nudity and it is fitting that I share it here now: The one year anniversary of that day was last weekend: June 2. My only regret is having waited so long to try it. Nudism is one of the best things I’ve ever done for my mental, physical and spiritual health. I created this blog to celebrate and share my love of the nudist lifestyle and discuss my journey to accepting my bisexuality. Sadly I cannot discuss these things with family and friends because many of them simply would not accept one or both of these lifestyles. The two topics may intersect in some posts but the story below focuses on my introduction to social nudity.
After years of contemplation, I finally visited a nudist campground for the first time last month. I’ve been thinking about doing this for at least 6 or 7 years. Every spring I would think, “This is it! This is the summer I’m going to try social nudity at a beach or resort.” Summer would come and go and I’d never work up the nerve. As spring approached this year and those thoughts began to stir again, I did some research and found a campground relatively close to me (about 50 miles/1 hour and 10 minute drive). According to the website, “All guests are welcome regardless of gender. We do not have a policy with regard to single persons or gender ratios.” Many resorts do enforce limitations or ratios, especially with regard to single men. In addition, they offer first timers this advice: “For those who have never tried social nudity before, we understand that you may be nervous or need some time to get adjusted. While our common areas are nudity required, we welcome you to enjoy the rest of the grounds and our hiking trails to get acclimated in a more private setting. Once you get out of your clothes, we think you’ll find a wonderful new feeling of freedom.” It was comforting to know there would be a lot of space to privately adjust to being nude.
Something about all of this information clicked and I mentally decided it’s now or never, I’m going for it this year. I called the night before going and spoke to a very nice man who told me to pull up to the gate and beep three times, then come into the office and fill out some quick paperwork. I wondered (but failed to ask) if I was supposed to get nude before or after doing this. As I made the one hour plus drive, my mind was racing with this and other thoughts: How many people would be there? Would I get funny looks because I’m a middle aged overweight man? What if I see someone I know? As I got closer my stomach filled with butterflies and the thought of turning back crossed my mind. Nevertheless, I pressed on, knowing that it was now or never. If I turned back when I’d gotten so close, I’d probably never try again.
After travelling through some beautiful farmland, I reached my destination. I nervously pulled up to the gate and beeped three times. The gate opened and I pulled over a small rise. In front of me was a pond with a little house in front of it. Sitting on the porch was a group of nude men. I pulled into the visitor parking lot, got out, went to the back of my car and began to strip. I figured this was it, I’m inside and I just saw a bunch of naked guys so I’ll look like a fool if I walk up in clothes. After stripping down to nothing but my trail sneakers (I planned to hike first thing) and applying sunscreen, I approached the group of men on the porch. The first thing that began to settle my nerves was that nobody batted an eye at my nude body. The man I spoke to the night before stood up and introduced himself. I filled out the necessary paperwork, he went over the rules and layout of the grounds and then I was on my own.
Per the website’s advice, I decided to take a solitary walk around the hiking trails and let my mind process the fact that I was completely nude outside and it was perfectly OK. The trails include a serene nature pond with turtles and frogs. Overlooking the pond, I found a nice flat rock to spread my towel on and sit down to eat an apple. This is when the first wave of calm washed over me. If you’ve never experienced it, there is nothing like the warm sun and a cool breeze caressing your completely nude body. Feeling refreshed, I continued my hike.
The last half of the trail turned out to be a bit challenging so by the time I returned to the camp store I needed hydration. I bought a water, found a lounge chair in the shade by the pond, took off my sneakers and settled in. With my sneakers off, I was now truly, completely 100% naked. I spent close to two hours in this spot reading and snoozing. Again, the feeling of laying completely nude outside is incomparable. People would occasionally pass by and offer a quick hello but, for the most part, I was undisturbed.
After lounging for two hours, I took another short hike and then settled into a nice Adirondack rocking chair near the pond. I brought a single ice cold pint of beer which I enjoyed while I took in the view. As early evening approached, clouds began to roll in over the pond and rain drops began to fall. I decided this was a sign that it was time to return home. I actually dreaded the thought of having to get dressed. I thanked my host, assured him that I would be returning soon, then headed back to my car and hesitantly got dressed to make the return trek home.
The biggest lesson I learned from this experience is that nudity and sexuality do not go hand in hand. I was completely nude for the entire day and not once did I even come close to getting an erection. It’s hard to explain why but the best I can say is that I was so focused on my own relaxation and well being that sexual thoughts didn’t cross my mind. In other words, It’s not a sexually charged environment. There were mostly middle aged and older overweight men there (dudes like me). I saw two women the whole day, one younger and one older. I took subtle glances at what everyone, men and women, had going on but no more so than if I was checking out someone’s clothed body. I assumed others were checking me out as well and was fine with it.
In conclusion, I can officially declare that I am now a nudist! I hesitate to share this with family and friends due to it’s taboo nature. However, I have returned to this campground several times since my first experience and I am now a card carrying member. At the end of each day there, much as I regret putting my clothes back on, I feel more relaxed than I ever have in my life. I am so glad I finally worked up the nerve to go!